My Marriage: Twenty Five Years on the Anvil of Time
Marriage puts our character on the anvil of time. Our impurities are revealed then burned up and beaten out until we are sharp and strong. Only then do we understand the hard and humbling aspects of marriage are forging something infinitely greater than two separate people.
Pushing Past Hurts to Build Deep Relationships
You’ve probably heard this quote by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf: “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” Many of us dream of having great relationships with a spouse, children, co-workers, neighbors, friends or extended family. Even self-professed...
How Pain and a Pack of Stars Can Transform Your Intimacy with God
Intimacy with a spouse, a sibling, or a friend is difficult to achieve. And that’s with someone we can see. How much more difficult is it to build an intimate relationship with God who we can’t see? Five years ago, shortly after my husband and I separated, I’d walk my...
The “Mundane” Things in Marriage Make or Break It
I could spit on every romance novel I read as a teenager. They deluded me into thinking that marriage was one, long romantic adventure. What a crock. I’m not down on marriage. I endured four difficult years of separation because I believe so profoundly in marriage....
The Never-Ending Process of Mourning
I was cleaning out a closet in my house when I pulled out a tub of crocheted items and felt a lump lodge in my throat. My father—who would have turned 70 this week but succumbed to pancreatic cancer in 2004—had made the items for me and my daughters during my...
What Are Ya Tryin’ to Prove?: How Rejection Affects our Self-Worth
“So why do you think you are the best person for the job?” asked the interviewer. I hate that question. If they ask it, it’s usually at the end of your interview. It means you have to (#1) have a sober estimation of yourself, and (#2), brag a little. I’m not very good...
Dishtowels and the Aware-mess of Being Imperfect
This morning I washed the last breakfast plate clean, set it into the dish drainer, and burst into tears. My life was kinda like that movie Crash when everything comes together just so as to cause this major collision. First, my husband and I—separated for almost four...
Who Gets the Bigger Cookie? (or How We Rob our Children of Opportunities to Grow)
In our house we love homemade cookies—Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter, Oatmeal, and Snickerdoodles. Course I cheat a little and buy the Betty Crocker packaged mixes so I only have to add butter and eggs. After 50+ dozen, I still haven’t quite gotten the hang of making...