In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, I googled “World’s Greatest Lover” expecting to find shirtless movie moguls, pouty-lipped teen idols, or at least some sordid tale of Casanova.
The entire first page was devoted to two pathetic examples—Cheap Trick’s song of the same name and Gene Wilder’s movie.
I don’t like Valentine’s Day anymore. It’s a slap-in-the-face reminder of my separated state after 20+ years of celebrating it with someone I love.
And the reminders are everywhere: My church just had a timely marriage retreat.
My radio station is talking about couples doing a Second First Date event.
I walk into any store, gym, or gas station and red hearts dance before my eyes.
So, of course, I spent the last few days frantically thinking for some way to spend that dreaded approaching day. It helped that last Monday I blogged about being married to my First Husband (I Now Pronounce You God and Wife).
I remembered that once–an eternity ago–I was a young Christian single, fighting like mad to hold on to a pure mind in a polluted world. Then in my late 20s, I enjoyed two blissful years of courtship, a highly unfashionable practice in these modern times.
But even before my marital beau caught my eye, someone else courted me.
And oh, how he dazzled me. He was talented, and smart, and strong, and creative. He knew my favorite color, my favorite foods, and he said I looked ravishing even when I resembled a drowned rat. He held my hand, wiped my tears, and let me rest my head on his shoulder. He listened when I talked, never interrupting. When he talked, his voice was like rushing water soothing away any pain or melting away any fear.
On his arm I felt like a princess, brilliant and beautiful and perfect just the way I was. When I dressed up, it was for him. When we danced, there was no doubt who was leading. Best of all, he never went home, never slept, never took his eyes off me.
And you know what I realized?
That my dazzling First Love has been there all this time waiting patiently for me to dance with him again, waiting patiently to walk and talk with me, and to tell me I look beautiful.
So this Thursday, I’m going to slip on my prettiest dress, slide on my high heels (cause he’s really tall), slap on a little lipstick, and spend some time with my Valentine—the greatest lover of all-time.
Who are you spending your Valentine’s with?
I think Corlia’s and your traditions are great! While I’m not in your boat, I caught a glimpse of what you wrote here at work Valentine’s week. I had a service tech out at my job and she called v-day ‘singles awareness day.’It was funny, but it had an underlying tone of loneliness in it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts so eloquently.
I guess we all have different ways of dealing with the state of being “alone”. Everything really comes back to perspective.
I wake up early in the morning and set a beautiful valentines breakfast table for my 4 kids. They are my Valentines for the day. They all love it and it makes the day special for them as well. Its been 5 years since my husband passed away and creating some new traditions helps with the healing and the moving forward. God makes good things come from Bad, in the same breath we should view things as opportunities and not obstacles. We have so much to be grateful for and so much love to give in this hurting world.
What an awesome tradition! Thank you for sharing it.
I am spending mind with the GENTLEMAN OF gentlemans. I am his princess, and as you, will spend the night with HIM. Ahh!! no one like him. He does know how to treat a real woman!! He gives, gives and gives….and never expects anything back! Bless you girl!
Have a wonderful time with Him!
I’ve been getting slapped for the last twenty years! Eventually, I come to my senses and realize I am not alone. I’ve spent the last twenty years with Him on Valentines Day. I also make it a point to let people know how much I appreciate them, those who have made an impact on my life. This week I wrote down my list of people and Its not woe is me, it’s joy that fills my heart because I am focusing on those who have loved me through this last year.
Thank you for being such an excellent example of surrender. You are a jewel in his crown, my sister.
Thank you Kim. I love the way you write. Your words are so insightful, deep and real. It is an absolute gift!!! Now whenever i see those commercials or walk into a Walgreens washed with valentine hearts instead of getting slapped I’ll have to laugh! Enjoy your time with Lord.
Yes, laugh! It’s the best medicine. And it reminds us that there is always joy even in the midst of sorrow.